Saturday: Katie had asked if I'd go with her to run to the stores yesterday and I had plans with John. She considered coming along with us but said no, she'd just wait. Then asked if I'd go with her today. I was more than happy to do so. For one thing, I wanted to take advantage of the digital coupon sale on butter at Kroger (use 5xs, $1.88 pound) which is a great price and a savings of $1.11 over what I paid at Aldi earlier in the month). I've also been fighting with my phone. I can't recall how long I've had it but let's say 5 years or so and here of late it would die suddenly, complained constantly that I was out of storage though I uninstalled every possible app, moved pictures to another device, and emptied the cache umpteen times daily. Katie had told her dad I needed a new phone and together they'd determined what we were getting for my phone.
No, no one asked me but really, all I care is that it's a smart phone, and that I can use it easily enough. We never buy the latest but only models that are about to discontinued anyway. Katie decided we'd go on to the phone center and get my new phone while we were out.
So off to Kroger, and a stop at Starbucks which is right across from the floral department and suddenly I simply had to have flowers. Kale, heather, purple roses and some other flower I don't know the name of...I didn't even care that I was splurging. I excused it away saying I hadn't bought flowers in months and I haven't.
I tried to get Caleb interested in the glory of flowers. That particular store is very upscale and has the most awesome variety of flowers and with roses on sale this week at $6 a dozen they must have had 100 or more bunches of roses in every imaginable color. Would Caleb look at flowers? He would NOT. He is a people watcher and his head swiveled left and right and he stared at people and that was his sole interest until his Mama gave him the cutest little fox cake pop, lol. His face was such a study of joy when she handed him that cake pop.
I'll enjoy these to the max! Besides coffee and flowers put me in a new season sort of mood. And for the record folks, I tasted of PSL (Pumpkin Spice Latte for those who were uninitiated in the use of the acronym as I was) and it's okay but I'll just stick with Caramel Macchiato until November when they start selling Gingerbread Lattes.
As we wandered over to the dairy department, I had a stumble upon of a very good price on an air fryer, something Katie has mentioned for months now she wanted. Strike while the iron is hot...I picked up the thing after she assured me she still wanted one. Another Christmas present purchased and for less price than I'd planned to spend. An answered prayer, because earlier this week I'd seen one but realized that it was a super simple, turn it on and off model only and not one that allowed anyone to really work with it. Katie took it home with her this afternoon which is fine. I've limited storage here anyway...and she prefers to pick out her gift and have it right away. I have 10 more gifts to buy not including things for John or Mama's gift. I shall send Amie a money order as per usual. It's just easier than shipping gifts and postage is dear these days.
From Kroger to pick up the phone. We had excellent help, Katie did all the talking, there was no pressure to sign a new contract, etc. and new phone is in hand and working just great. I was assured that my phone was about to die by the clerk, which was what Katie kept telling me, too. Caleb was pretty good even though there was really no one to 'watch' but he satisfied his nosy self by sneaking to the back with the clerk who went to speak to someone in the office and Caleb stuck his head around the door and made everyone laugh.
Kroger to Target. The Dollar spot was picked over heavily already, which it has been every single time I've been in there of late. We ran down a long list each of things we went in for and stuck to our lists. My deviations was a Spiced Pumpkin candle in a little amber jar. It smells more like cinnamon and nutmeg to me than Pumpkin. I am NOT getting on the Pumpkin Spice bandwagon! My other deviation was a bunch of canned beans and tomato products that were marked down to Aldi prices for products I can't typically buy there.
And that was our Saturday morning shopping. It was fun and I enjoyed it. I'd say at this point I've made a hard dint in my September grocery budget but I've found some incredibly good buys and I've no regrets.
I know it's still August and will be until Wednesday but all day long I've had a fall sort of feeling...and when I got home and had settled in my chair lovely Angela shared a blog with fall playlists (click on the link to hear one of them) and I've been listening to the songs ever since...I am pretty sure I feel the urge to make oatmeal cookies and apple pies, need to fetch in my glass pumpkins and pull out the fall wreaths...I don't think I'm going to make it until Labor day weekend before decorating for fall as I'd planned. And can anyone with pull contact Starbucks and have them roll out the Gingerbread Lattes early this year?
Sunday: I didn't get much done today. I did putter about doing housework but we neither of us wanted to rise when the early alarms went off this morning. We dragged ourselves from bed, but it's weird, truly, to have John still abed when an alarm actually goes off and even stranger to have him say "I don't want to get up! Do you?" lol
We enjoyed our church service. I sort of wanted to go by Publix and asked John how many eggs we had. '11. I only used one out of the last dozen.' "Oh". I really didn't need anything and would only have spent money I didn't need to spend. I'd even checked my list online and only had two items on there and neither were things we'd usually buy.
We came home and I made pizza for lunch. It was delicious. The weather was overcast and not exactly reminding me of summer...So while I was browning meat for the pizza, I thought I'd make a pot of chili. Here's where I messed up in my opinion. I used crushed tomatoes and I didn't like the texture, look, or taste of the chili at all. In future, I'll return to using diced tomatoes. I served it for supper tonight and John thought it was terrific. Just goes to show you doesn't it? Here I was fussing over it and thinking it tasted like anything except chili but he was just happy as could be with it, lol.
Aside from minor housework that's about all I did today. I didn't strip the bed. I didn't clean the bathrooms or do a whole house pick up. I mostly sat in my chair and dozed off and caught up on my vlogs.
Monday: I slept until nearly 9:30 this morning which is strange for me. I don't generally sleep that hard. It's threw off my whole day, timewise.
I made a quick breakfast. I decided this morning I was going to clean our bathroom really well today and I got busy. I cleaned out our toothbrush holders and soap dishes and baskets. I wiped and washed and scrubbed and bleached. I didn't touch our shower simply because I didn't want to get wet but I did everything else. I cleaned a portion of four walls and painted a sample of the paint I got from Katie. It was really blue and not even vaguely sage green, most definitely a mistint from what she wanted. I painted it on all four walls because I wanted to see what it looked like in all kinds of light from daylight to night time and overhead lights. It's a pretty shade of light blue and it's a nice change from the golden green we have had for the past eleven years. What's more, that paint will not necessitate a change of towels at all. It goes with what we have.
I think I'd like to put open shelves above the toilet and remove the little cabinet...It means I won't have my little bird figurines in that room any more. Well right now, I'm not going to do a thing in that room besides paint after I get the walls cleaned and putty in nail holes. I'm just not in the frame of mind to do a complete makeover sort of thing.
In between cleaning bathroom and bedroom, I sat down with my Bible study material and worked on catching up. I had a plan to do three segments each day which should have me all caught up Wednesday.
John did laundry today. I remembered to get the spread off the guest bed so it could be washed as well. I realized as I went to make our bed with fresh sheets that it was well past 12:30 and high time I thought of lunch! I told you I was completely thrown off by my late rising this morning.
I made lunch and John and I ate it in front of the tv watching some program or another he had on. Then I went on to clear up the kitchen and determine what I had in the fridge and cabinets. I went through the fridge and decided to deal with the items I'd pulled and then work on the cabinets and freezer. I never got that far.
I had dealt with the fridge items and was working on prepping supper with a few of them when I thought I'd just sit and study another unit of the Bible study while I pared potatoes. Katie called and asked if she and Caleb might come out to visit for a little while. No more study and no more gathering fragments!
I played with Caleb who surprised me no end today because he communicated something to me without saying a word. It's our habit to raise the shades when he comes in. He likes to look out of the windows. I hadn't pulled up the shade in the kitchen sitting area and he was trying to look out. He turned and took his little index finger and poked my knee to get my attention and when I looked at him he pointed to the shade. I thought that was mighty clever of him. He's not quite two yet and he hasn't real words to use just now but he clearly communicated what he wanted...It just seemed smart to me.
I was cutting shortening into flour for biscuits and Caleb wanted to see. I showed him the inside of the bowl and put my finger in the flour and then into his mouth. He made a face and I told him, "It's not good that way is it? But you'll love the biscuits when they are cooked!" And he did, too. He smacked and smacked over those biscuits. I told him next time he comes Gramma will have some Cane Syrup and introduce him to the real Southern way of eating a biscuit.
My Stitch Fix box arrived today and for the first time I'm sending items back. I just don't like them. I tried them on while Katie was here and I tried them on again after she left, in case I'd allowed her opinion to outweigh my own. I dislike the neckline and a crocheted epaulet sort of thing on one and the other is a print with a stretchy knit back and it looks like the blouse was pieced together with two skimpy bits of fabric. I am keeping a t-shirt and a blouse. I'm waffling over the purse. This is my third box from the company and I have been pleased overall. This is the first time I've returned anything so we'll see how that goes.
It's a bit cooler than it was. I am seriously thinking in terms of Fall at the moment. I did when I was cleaning the bathroom deeply today and when I was making supper. I'm ready to eat the heartier, slow simmered foods that we eat when it's cooler. I'm ready to snuggle into long pants and sweaters. John scoffed when I confessed that was my desire. "You'll be waiting awhile for Fall around here..." He's right. I know he is. But it's August 30...Surely there's a peek at autumn coming near?
After I'd done everything else this evening, clearing up supper, bagging up the returns for Stitch Fix, put away clothes, etc., and picked up the last toys, I sat down and finished the unit I was working on in the Bible Study. I fell one day short...Oh well. I worked hard at getting through the planned for amount of work done in the Bible study but I did work at it and hopefully I'll catch up before I go to class on Wednesday.
Tuesday: I had a bit of a personal struggle this morning. It all had to do with my Stitch Fix box and the items I was planning to keep. I can justify the two tops I'd planned to keep but the purse...Much as I like it, it was higher in cost than I've ever paid for a purse before. I looked at the cost and realized that if I had the money, which I don't at present so I'd have to rely on the credit card, I could use that sum to do any number of other things I really wanted to do. My granddaughter needs things for her first baby. There's Christmas gifts to buy. And there's mulch needed at the town house. That purse won't pay for all three of those wants but it would definitely cover some and in the long run I'd be a lot happier.
Nevertheless, I was disappointed even though I knew it was really sound thinking. I didn't say a word to John but just quietly laid it on top of the envelope in which I'd put the two blouses I'm returning, as well. I really struggled to deal with my disappointment overall and had managed it right well...Until John came in and said "Why is the purse there with the returns?" Explaining to him, I began to cry a little; I suppose because the struggle with what I knew and what I wanted was too freshly over. And frankly it does seem that this past year has been a struggle of one sort or another financially and it's bee hardest these past three months.
Of course, he felt I should keep it. Can I just say this? John might want me to keep it but in the end I'm the one who has to figure out where that money to pay for it is coming from...And here of late, as I've shared, we've been hit by one thing after another. I am still trying to determine where the last big chunk of money is coming from and there's another chunk from August that must be paid for here in September because the company would ONLY accept a credit card and we still haven't even paid off a portion of the amount we borrowed in July. So while I appreciated his wanting me to have what I want, I also know very well why I simply can't. And in the end, that purse isn't nearly as important to me as those three other needs I mentioned, nor the repayment of the loan we took out, nor the covering of other things that we charged and didn't cover with the loan.
So...Purse goes back. I'll keep the other two tops because I can use them and I can stretch my allowance to cover those. I'll be pulling some of the fall items forward this coming month and I'm sure some of those are also going into the house clothes drawer because I've worn them for two or three years and bought them used anyway. But the purse...there will be other purses. I've been thinking long and hard about acquiring two nice leather purses, one black and one brown as those are the work horses in my wardrobe. I'm willing to wait for that purchase and make do with what I have in the meantime. I just hate that my silly spirit broke at the moment it did.
This morning, after sorting that mess out in my head I jumped up to tackle the process of moving storage jars into the pantry and moving a few food supplies into the kitchen. Work generally soothes my troubled feelings best. I feel I can control something in my life and I get a sense of satisfaction at having done an extra task. I'm not quite done yet. There are other items I want to move but I made a good start and managed to figure out how to use a wire shelf to expand the food storage under the baking counter. I also noted that should we remove the one upper cabinet in the main kitchen area where I keep snacks and beverage mixes and dried beans, I could easily fit the foodstuffs we keep there into the same cabinet I worked on today.
I'm not ready to remodel my kitchen just yet, but I'm definitely using my head to determine where I might put some of the things and knowing that I can easily clear out that one upper cabinet and have room for what we'd typically keep there is bonus thinking.
I also determined, while I was in the pantry putting in the jars I wanted to keep for storage or canning purposes, that I really do need the extra set of shelves in the pantry. I can't get much more on the biggest set and nothing at all more on the smaller shelving unit. The bins are fine for the dry good items but I need more space for canned foods. I consider this a wonderful 'problem' to have because it tells me I've made a lot of headway over where I was two years ago and even over where I was when the shutdown ended in 2021. John wants me to order the gamma lids and food grade buckets, too, for that space. I will do all those things in a few months perhaps.
Tonight I experimented with a Shoebox Supper. I knew we liked the recipe that I made for our Shoebox Supper tonight but John made me feel glad I'd chosen this particular recipe when he cleaned his plate, pointed to the empty surface and said "That was GOOD!" Yay! That's one possibility and I will try to gather all the components and put them together in a bag or box of some sort for future Preparedness meals. I'm happy too that I'm finally getting started on the course of keeping a record of pantry meals that we can make, and truly enjoy eating if the need arose.
Wednesday: I thawed out another quart of frozen milk since we seem to only ever have forgotten soured milk in the fridge. I planned we'd have cereal this morning while we had fresh milk. I'm seriously reconsidering buying milk here of late. I used to really enjoy a cup of milk at night but in the past six months or so I have fallen off drinking it. John never touches milk except for the very rare glass of chocolate milk and the occasional bowl of cold cereal which he's asking for less and less often.
I like the shelf stable milk, but even after trying it himself, John is just not convinced it's as good as what he considers 'real' milk. If I buy shelf stable, I will forgo the half and half I typically buy and use the shelf stable in my coffee. I don't mind it in the least. The cost is higher than refrigerated milk but I'm saving a bit by not buying the half and half and not having spoiled milk. I think it will even out cost-wise in the end.
On the other hand, there's John who has a tendency to want what he wants...as I do myself, so not slinging a stone. Is it worth taking up freezer space to continue to buy refrigerated milk? I don't know. I shall have to really think on this question and figure prices and then talk it over with John. I may buy even less milk than I've been buying. I've cut down from four gallons a month to just one. Maybe we'll just buy a single half gallon. It's worth thinking about.
It's funny how over time these sorts of questions will come up. We find we simply don't use a product as we used to, or have need of a service we once considered absolutely necessary, or we can no longer buy the product we used to love. It's just another part of frugal seasons when things change and we must change with them if we're to continue using our funds wisely.
This morning, after I'd done quick household things and we'd fed the pets, we went into town. I needed to make my Stitch Fix return. It's first of the month and there were a few bills that needed to go out which come in during the last week of the month. John wanted to go by the town house and mow the back yard which fortunately needs mowing far less often than the two sunnier lawns here. Katie's senior citizen neighbor mows her front yard for her when he mows his own. He did the same when Mama lived there and though we've told him we'll tend to it, he just goes right on and does it. Mama loathed him cutting it and often complained over it, but we thank him every chance we have of seeing him. He's a very nice man and that's a fact. I mean he's done it for nearly 40 years now and never complained or asked for a thing from anyone.
I took along my Bible Study book and finished the last unit of study in this past lesson while I sat in the driveway in the car. I'm ready to start fresh after tonight's video and lesson. I knew Katie was up so when I'd finished my lesson, I went on to knock on the door. Caleb came to greet me with a big cheerful "Hey!" He was so happy to have me come in and visit. He climbed up on my lap and sat for a while, then he played and then he'd come sit on my lap. But the shining moment today was when we told him Grampa was outside and he went to the door and called 'ompa'. I have been so looking forward to hearing what names Millie and Caleb will call us.
Not one of our grandchildren has called us the same thing. Josie chose to call us Pop and Pop Pop. Lily, Ross and Rosa weren't around, and neither was Daniel when they were at the stage to start speaking. We were Gah and Ga-ah to Josh. We were Papa and Ama to Isaac. Grandmamama and Grandpapa to Taylor. Hailey called John Papa for a while but called me Mama. Zach just never called us anything at all, lol. Eventually they all called us Gramma and Grampa but it's so interesting to hear their very own names for us.
John and I have had lunch and my ambition was up and gone by the time I'd cooked and eaten and cleared up after that meal. However, I feel I should DO something for my home today, so I shall get up and see what I might find to tend to. I always feel so much better if I've had some productivity in every single day.
Thursday: Still no word at all from Katie's job. I think she's already starting looking for another...we hear so much about how desperate companies are for employees but why do some just not move forward when they have a willing person signed on? They keep telling her they're ready for her and 'will call right back' and then no one calls until she contacts them.
I've got brownies in the oven. I said I'd make cookies this week and I had meant to make cookies but in moving some foodstuffs from pantry to kitchen for convenience sake, I discovered the jar of homemade brownie mix with just one batch left in it. It seemed a good idea to go on and bake those off rather than create something new. I timed it to go into the oven just about the time the bread was coming out of the bread machine. The bread can rise there next to the warm oven and go right in behind the brownies.
Yesterday afternoon I did rouse myself to get up and get busy. I did a walk through of the main living areas and our bed and bath and put things away where they belonged. Then I sat down with the check book and brought the register up to date. I was humbled beyond words with what I found and when John came back from mowing, I told him of what I'd discovered.
You see, we had one bill we hadn't paid that was over and above the amount needed last month and John had asked me on Sunday to just write a check for it and pay it. I'd meant to move money from savings to cover that last bill but I hadn't done so. And when I worked up my check register I found that somehow, impossibly, in a season of reduced income and increased outgo, the check was fully covered. I don't know how it could have been, I truly don't. I went over my figures and I had made an error...one that wasn't in our favor and yet that big check was easily covered by the funds within our checking even though my figures were skewed in the wrong direction. How? Only God knows and after checking and rechecking figures four times I had to concede that it simply was a God thing and thank him.
As I said, when John came back from mowing, I told him all about it. I confessed I'd written the check knowing I'd need savings to cover it and not telling him so, how I'd gone over and over the checkbook but that it was simply not necessary to move any funds from savings at all. We both agreed that this was providential and are so deeply grateful and humbled.
It was 4pm when John came back and though we chatted a few moments on the porch, it was necessary to hurry through the evening. I rushed supper, a plan not on the menu but which was just right for a rushed evening meal. I made burgers and fries. We got ready to go and found ourselves with a half hour or so before we needed to leave. John was sitting on the trunk at the foot of the bed and I lay down on the bed and relaxed my back and we talked.
It was cool and dim in the room, the house was quiet about us, as much as a house ever is quiet, and we thoroughly enjoyed some deep conversation. I was thinking, as we were leaving the house, how lovely and nice that interlude had been. And John felt the same. We were driving toward the river when he took my hand in his and said "I really enjoyed having conversation with you. It was nice." He held my hand all the way to the church.
I thought about it all yesterday evening. We fall into a rut at times. He's absorbed by watching videos, I'm on the computer writing or watching my own favorite videos. Talk, even small talk, falls by the wayside...but John has mentioned more than once that he craves that reconnection that only talk can bring. It's one reason why he's usually more than willing to go on a date or get away from home for a bit, because once away from the tv and the computer we talk and talk and talk. Truth told though, with summer's busyness we seldom leave home and we seldom reconnect through conversation. I need to make it a priority and need to help him make it a priority. It was obviously something we both enjoyed deeply.
Funny, too, that we both felt it was needed. After all, we were just out together on Friday and we were at no loss for words that day, either. We chattered all the way to the restaurant, all through the meal and all the way home again. Yet we both felt it was remarkable we'd taken that time to just talk quietly together here at home!
Today, I was awake quite early and though I did doze off once more I was up shortly after 7am. I haven't exactly knocked myself out doing housework but I've been slowly puttering about making bread and brownies, clearing up small messes, and just thinking homey sorts of thoughts. I'm feeling the new season urge to decorate and keep imaging what I shall do and how I shall use what I have to do it and thinking of things I might go retrieve from the shed to get started and at the same time, thinking I'd like to wait a wee bit longer and let summer finish off properly, even if there is blooming golden rod waving gently just up the road. I'm not in a hurry to rush my natural seasons this year for all that I keep bemoaning personal ones.
I walked out to empty the compost and discovered I had a $50 zinnia bloom...The cosmos nor marigolds haven't done a thing though they are up, not one other flower has risen in that bed, but there's ONE zinnia and it's bloomed. I feel a little silly over how happy it made me, that one flower, considering how that flower bed has created such a struggle for me this year and has literally eaten funds I might have used with greater purpose elsewhere.
I've gotten so much done this week that I do believe I've ticked every item on my list except for airing blankets and quilts and that has had to wait on rain and now mowing. But other than that one task I've managed to get plenty done and I really have no idea what more I might do although there are two days of the week left in which to do things.
I think I shall go clear up my closet and try to piece together outfits for the next few outings we might have. I didn't put September wardrobe on my monthly list nor my weekly one, but I should have done, so I shall run go do that.
later: I was sure I'd remove several items from my closet with the advent of September. I didn't set up but one outfit. By the time I'd tried things on and determined what I'd discard I was fairly weary. Katie called about then asking if she could come out to visit and I agreed readily. I can always work on working up outfits at another time. In the meantime, my closet is cleaned and organized once more. I have a small bag of donations. I gave Katie a couple of things and sent Bess a pair of pants that were at least 2 sizes too small for me even though the tag said they were one size larger than I typically wear. The big surprise is that I didn't add anything to my house clothes drawer after all. What I didn't want anymore was far too nice to consider wearing about the house so I'll donate to the thrift store for resale purposes.
Caleb was a bundle of energy today and tested me as often as he could. He wept like the broken hearted when he saw his grandpa sitting on the back porch (he was mowing lawn when they came up) and his Mama shut the door in his face. John couldn't bear it either and encouraged Katie to let Caleb go out onto the porch. He was so pleased to get to join them.
Sam stopped by with the boys after school. Isaac's speech has improved a good bit and he's more understandable. He is really talking a lot more and I think that's probably the most indicative of how much more comfortable he is with his speech. Josh has always spoken for Isaac for the most part but now that Isaac has only himself to rely upon at school, he's gained a lot of confidence. I think the speech therapy helps but we noticed he was speaking more and taking time to form words more once school started even before he began speech therapy.
Both the boys are sweet to Caleb. They hugged him and talked to him and played with him while they were here. And when they left, we had the cry of a broken hearted little boy all over again, this time over his cousins leaving. Poor baby!
Sweetest moment was when Isaac cried because his daddy reminded him he wasn't allowed a snack. Isaac was sitting on the floor at the time and Caleb came over and patted him on the shoulder and knelt down to speak baby talk to him but it was obvious he meant to soothe Isaac.
I made supper and knew Katie would stay long before she asked what I was making, lol. It's one of her favorite meals just as it is one of mine. I was making Chicken Parmigiana. I'd only taken out one half chicken breast to thaw, but I am glad that the chicken breast halves were so huge. That one half made four nice pieces when I cut it in both lengthwise and width wise and they weren't skimpy pieces.
Caleb nodded his approval while he ate. He likes chicken. And Spaghetti. And tomato sauce. Katie even let him have a bit of brownie after supper which he ate right up. We thought he'd eaten very well tonight but when I was putting things away in the fridge, he did his usual thing and pushed in between me and peered in. Then he grabbed the half apple I'd set in the fridge and walked away with it. He ate about half of that as he walked around the living room, which astonished Katie. He seemed to be enjoying it.
Katie had told me Caleb was up really early this morning, and took an early morning nap. John was yawning mightily after supper and each time he did, Caleb and Katie yawned right along with him, lol. But when John gave in to his tiredness and put his head back on the chair and closed his eyes, Caleb came running right over and patted John's arm and made sure he was awake. Each time John would close his eyes there was Caleb patting him awake once more. One does NOT nap while Caleb is up and about, that's all there is to it, lol.
I loved having the family run by today but I was so weary when they all left. I was feeling my own very early morning awakening. I seriously had considered leaving the dishes and they were plentiful but in the end, I went right on and did them. I haven't put away the clean dishes but that is truly a matter of a couple of minutes work in the morning. Clearing up a messy kitchen would take a good bit more time.
John told me this evening, after we'd settled down together that tomorrow is my day to do with as I please. I'd mentioned it was time for a haircut. It's Taylor's weekend to visit as well so I'll try to pick up Gramma's Fried Chicken while we're out. Goodness! It's hard to believe that it's end of another week and the start of a new month...
Friday: Luxury to get to just putter about on a Friday morning and not have any real work to do because it's already done! Just as well because I slept poorly, fighting pain that I couldn't seem to get on top of enough to ever doze off. I finally went off to the super firm guest bed and somehow that extra rigidity made it easier to me to go off to sleep.
But as with other mornings this week, the stinking thinking, poormeitis, had somehow found another niche to crawl and burrow into and I spent quite a bit of time wrestling with that once I woke up. I didn't let on to John that I was dealing with it but honestly, sometimes I get just plain tired of myself! I found it best to go off alone, give in just long enough to have a good hard cry and then move on with the day.
We didn't leave home until nearly lunch time today and I can't say I was little miss sunshine even then but I was improved mentally and emotionally if not physically. I took myself to task over my bluesy outlook because I spent years, and I do mean years, in serious deep pain, an 8 on my personal 1-10 scale and sometimes a 9. I am not a wuss when it comes to pain by any means but I haven't had to deal with pain much in the last few years. I daresay my personal pain level today was barely a 3 at the height but my gracious it was wearing me down hard. I'd done all I could for it and was at the point of just enduring, but it frustrated me on top of wearing me down physically and emotionally. It wasn't a matter of not giving in. I had sunk before I woke this morning and it took quite a long bit of mental wrestling to finally get over the emotional fall.
However, I did get over it. I just kept right on plodding along and doing the best I could, venting quietly in my mind and not speaking out loud of my hurting. I'm not a stoic, but I do know what is serious pain and this was not. It was aggravating minor pain. It was NOTHING compared to what I used to live with on a daily basis and I was determined I would not be brought fully down by it today.
Thankfully, I made it over that hurdle and the pain reduced as my mental fortitude increased. I was feeling almost myself by the time we got to the salon where I got a very good haircut. The stylist this time was the same as last, and she'd not spoken a word to me last time. I thanked her right away when I went in for doing such a good job last time and somehow that was exactly the right thing to say because when I left she was "Miss Terri"-ing me all over the place, lol.
We went next door to Publix to get Taylor's Sunday fried chicken. I had a short list of things on sale this week for Labor Day that were well priced. Those items will come from September's grocery budget, and I refuse to worry about it otherwise. We weren't foolish. We don't purchase steak and oysters when our budget is clearly potato chowder no matter how much we might like the steak and oysters. I've added a few items to our pantry that won't likely be on sale until about Memorial Day of 2022. It isn't enough to last until then, but we've a little bit towards the future.
We drove home and have now the luxury of doing nothing until time for Shabat tonight. I've already told John I've no intent of laboring hard on Labor Day this year. We've worked hard and steady all spring and summer this year. I don't think it will hurt a bit if we do something silly and take a day off on Monday, do you?
I hope you all have a lovely holiday weekend!